I did have an interesting experience on Tuesday of last week. I didn't go out for my early morning run with S. because I was tired. Sure, I could have dragged myself out of bed, but I just wasn't up to it. So I didn't do it. All day I felt like something was off. I felt like maybe I had left the garage door open, or the stove on or something. But I knew what it was - I hadn't run. And so I now realize that this is who I am. Not all that I am - but a big part of who I am. I'm not the fastest runner, or the most accomplished and I'm not the person who was "born to run". But now, I am a runner. And even when I'm not running, I will still probably consider myself a runner. Just like I consider myself a writer even when I'm not actively writing anything. Or a reader even if it's been weeks since I've picked up a book.
It feels weird to say that because I feel like a poser. Someone who is just trying to fit in. Maybe it comes from surrounding myself with people that are faster than me. Maybe it's because (in my mind) I don't "look" like a runner. Maybe it's because I rarely run more than 25 miles in a week, and if I'm not marathon training, probably hardly more than 15. But I think if missing a run gives you a nagging feeling like you forgot to do something, like something's missing, well, that gives you the right to call yourself a runner - regardless of what you look like, how fast you run or how many miles you log.
I know I'm the only person who's telling me that I'm not a "runner". It feels good to give myself permission to do so.
Stats for the week:
Miles run: 21
Miles left to go: 283.2
Raised so far: $734.20
Left to go: $265.80