Tuesday, August 5, 2008

How to get fired from your job in five weeks or less

As promised the other day.

I recently had an encounter with a person who managed to turn off every person they came into contact with and apparently piss off enough people at the right level that they were told they probably shouldn't be working at the company anymore. It went a little something like this:
  • Get hired
  • Intimidate immediate manager
  • Have immediate manager try to pawn you off on the head of area
  • Invite yourself to a departmental meeting that is above your level
  • Complain when you are not being included in meetings above your level
  • Meet head of department (the big boss) during a meeting and proceed to tell them and others why they are wrong
  • Tell everyone how you did things at your previous companies
  • Go around an introduce yourself to everyone and try to form side pacts in what looks like an effort to play people off of one another
  • Get fired
See it's that easy. You too can start to enact your over-bearing personality upon others and, with any luck, you'll be told your services are no longer needed in as little as five weeks. Of course, this works best when you are within your first few weeks of working for a company since most people don't tend to rock the boat until they've been somewhere for six months or so.

Up next: How to stay employed regardless of how many people you piss off and departments you cycle through.

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